Domestic Violence in Muslim Families: Aasiya Zubair to Nazish Noorani

Posted by Zerqa Abid
8/22/2011 7:39 AM  RssIcon

As I write this post, it has been five days since the murder of Nazish Noorani, 27, a mother of two, in Boonton, NJ.   

A week prior to her death, she texted her brother, 

"I dont no wht to do…Cant talk to him cuz he abuse me than…He dosent wanna live with me…I dont no kids get scared of him sometimes…I m so tired of this…I dont no i m scared…someday u will find me dead but its cuz of kashi…he wants to kill me."

Unfortunately, regardless of her warning, she could not save herself. Her husband, Kashif Pervaiz, successfully plotted and killed her with the help of his girlfriend, Antoinette Stephen.   

Inna lillahi wa inna illaihi raajioon. To God we belong and to Him we return. May God rest her soul in peace and may He grant patience to her family and loved ones. 

How sad, gruesome, and alarming this murder is for the Muslim Community!

To many of us, it’s a dejavu. It reminds us all about Sr. Aasiya Zubair’s murder in February of 2009. Just like Aasiya, Nazish is also gone forever and her family, along with her two sons, 5 and 3, are left behind grieving.

As some details of Sr. Nazish’s dysfunctional married life are disclosed now, it is obvious that Pervaiz was not only abusive but was also cheating with her for long time. She had been openly communicating with her siblings for quite some time and was very confused about how to deal with the situation.

We don’t know a lot about how her brother responded to her grievances. But we know that her sister, Lubna Chaudry, begged her to leave the marriage which Nazish refused, according to some newspaper reports. She loved him, sister says. This is typical of abused women in love relationships. More reasons of why victims stay in abusive relationships can be seen here.

A common question that family and friends often ask each other after such incidents is: What could have been done to avoid it? What do you do when your daughter or sister text you a message like Nazish did about her abusive married life? Life or marriage, what would/should you pick? Where do you draw the line and decide to be safe than sorry.

Also, if it is not life threatening, how long is long enough for a person in an abusive relationship? What should a family/community member do after learning about the situation? When does it become community business?

These are tough questions and need serious dialogue within Muslim community.  

In order to initiate this dialogue at community level, Dar al Islam launched Project Sakinah (Sakinah means tranquility) after the gruesome murder of Sr. Aasiya in 2009. Although various DV organizations have already been working within Muslim community for years, Project Sakinah has become the first national platform in last two and a half years.

After initial research, intensive brainstorming with several Muslim and non-Muslim DV advocates and several sessions with professional consultants, we have now launched a 6-point action plan for our community. We call upon all concerned community members to join hands with us and help us making it a success.

Starting this October, we are offering training workshops for community organizers against domestic violence. These workshops are not for professionals. These are for regular people. We call upon you to help us organize these workshops in your city, at your mosques and community centers.

As we walk on this road to Sakinah, we invite you too to join the caravan. Following are few initial steps that you can take right away:  

  1. Explore Project Sakinah’s website and educate yourself about the issue and possible ways to combat it within your inpidual capacity.   
  2. Share the site with your friends and family members.
  3. Join our online national team and help us through your direct participation and feedback.
  4. Like our Facebook page and help spread the word to your online friends.
  5. Request our free campaign material (postcards, posters and brochures) to be distributed at  your mosque and local businesses. Email your request to gathering@projectsakinah.org
  6. Take our online survey "Where Do You Stand?" The Attitudes of Muslim Men and Women Toward Domestic Violence. This will help us in improving our plan and strategy to combat this evil within Muslim community.
  7. Donate to support Project Sakinah so we can continue this work for long time with better quality.Last but not least is the fact that domestic violence is a global issue. One in every three women becomes   a victim of domestic violence at some point of her life in the United States. But this fact does not make it less of a Muslim problem.  

Last but not least is the fact that domestic violence is a global issue. One in every three women becomes a victim of domestic violence at some point of her life in the United States. But this fact does not make it less of a Muslim problem.

Unfortunately, the media is once again sensationalizing this news around Islam and Ramadan suggesting it is a Muslim problem. The best way to counter the Media’s buzz is through showing the serious commitment of the Muslim community against domestic violence. We have talked and reacted enough. It does not really help much. It’s time to walk, and the road to Sakinah is wide enough for us all to walk together. 


Your name:
Gravatar Preview
Your email:
(Optional) Email used only to show Gravatar.
Your website:
Title:
Comment:
Add Comment   Cancel 

Contributors

 

Topics

 

Blog List

In The Beginning
Emotional Literacy -- The Key to Preventing Domestic Violence
Feeling Like an Expert?
Forebearance and the Family
The Heartsick Judge
Letter to a Stranger
Aftershock
Cope
Over
Handcuffed
True Love in Marriage – A Mirage, Why?
Wholeness of Love - The Tranquil Home
Greatness of Women
Stand with Purple
Indian Documentary Film Maker Tackles Child Abuse
Cultural Differences and Child Abuse
Adoption in Islam: Not in my house
The Plight of Abused Muslim Parents
Team Up with Ramadan
Revive the Spirit: Do 4 Things for Aasiya
The Origin of The International Purple Hijab Day
E-Wali--A Good Idea
One Easy Thing to Do to Help Keep Kids Safe
Five Tips on Finances / Your Financial Safety Plan
The Issue of Child Abuse: What We Should Do
It's all about Saving Muslim Lives at Home!
Stop Domestic Violence: Wake Up, Speak Up, Team Up
Please Help Me: The Child Abuse Epidemic
On Shaima Alawadi, family violence, and hate crimes
Hurting Homes
Honor is Gender Neutral
My Khutbah Against Domestic Violence
Abuse of Women is Sadly Endemic
Do we have a Will to End Domestic Violence?
Domestic Violence, Islam and Muslim Women
Domestic Violence: A Violation of Islam
Honor and Terror
Muslims Working Against Domestic Violence
Muslim women wage jihad against violence
Imam Zaid Shakir: The Problem of Domestic Abuse
The Wife-Beating issue and its impact on our community
ALLAH Prohibits Domestic Violence
Does the Quran Tolerate Domestic Abuse?
Inviting Muslims to Respond to Domestic Violence
VOICE TO ACTION: Muslims Against Domestic Violence
SISTERS Annual Tea Honors Muslimat Al Nisaa Shelter
Did We ever Bother to know Muzzammil?
Downtown Chicago Event
He Stood Right Here

 

Tags

Muslim Community (19)
Hadith (15)
Muslim Domestic Violence (15)
Quran (15)
Muslim Abusive Marriage (14)
Muslim Abusive Relationships (14)
Muslim Battered Women (14)
Daraba (13)
Muslim domestic abuse (13)
Muslim women rights (13)
Nushuz (13)
Prophet Mohammad (13)
Muslim wife beating (10)
Muslim Help (9)
Muslim Support (9)
Aasiya Zubair (7)
Domestic Violence (6)
Child abuse (4)
Abuse (3)
Muslim Child Abuse (3)
Muslim Family Violence (3)
Muzzamil Hassan (3)
parenting (3)
Activism (2)
Adultery (2)
Bridges TV (2)
Dar al Islam (2)
domestic abuse (2)
Family Violence (2)
Islam (2)
Muslim abuse (2)
Muslim dating (2)
Muslim Honor Killing (2)
Muslim Relationships (2)
Muzzammil Hassan (2)
Ramadan (2)
Unhealthy Relationships (2)
Abdifatah Mohamud (1)
Abused Elderly Parents (1)
Abusive Children (1)
American Muslim community (1)
Awareness (1)
case (1)
Child Safety (1)
council (1)
Counseling (1)
Eid (1)
Emotional Literacy (1)
Enith Morillo (1)
e-wali (1)
Family (1)
Father (1)
finances (1)
financial safety plan (1)
Friday Sermon (1)
gang rape (1)
Happy Homes (1)
Healthy Relationships (1)
Iftaar (1)
Jahliyah (1)
Jihad (1)
Kashif Pervaiz (1)
Khalil Wimes (1)
Kidnapping (1)
Love (1)
marriage (1)
matrimonial (1)
media (1)
Mentor (1)
Mukhtar Mai (1)
Muslim American Community (1)
Muslim Child Molestation (1)
Muslim Children Rights (1)
Muslim Families (1)
Muslim Marriage (1)
Muslim Parenting (1)
Muslim Parents (1)
Muslims (1)
Nazir Ahmed (1)
Nazish Noorani (1)
Pakistan (1)
Patience (1)
Punjab (1)
retaliation (1)
Role Model (1)
Strong Families (1)
Supreme Court (1)
Taraweeh (1)
Tranquility (1)
Trust (1)
wali (1)
Women (1)

Contact

Project Sakinah
Dar al Islam
P.O. Box 180
Abiquiu, NM  87510

505.484.8253