Abusers can take drastic actions when they find out they are losing the person they
thought they had control over. Emotions are high. For many victims, this is the
MOST DANGEROUS time in an abusive relationship. One needs to think BEFORE taking
action. Make sure to read all the safety tips below and have victims and family
members work on a personal plan as drafted below.
IF YOU ARE IN DANGER, CALL 911
or your local police emergency number
To find out about help in your area, call:
National Domestic Violence Hotline:
Whether or not you feel able to leave an abuser,
there are things you can do to make yourself and your family safer.
If I decide to leave, places I can go where I feel comfortable and safe are:
I will always let ___________________ and ____________________ know where I am and
with whom I am staying.
I will always carry ____________________'s phone number, in case I need to call
them because I am uncomfortable or I am being hurt. Their number is ____________________.
Other ways I can get help when I am out are:
If I am out and need help, I can always call __________________________________
In an emergency, I can call 911 or the statewide hotline number 1-800-__________________,
or my local domestic violence program at ____________________.
My code word is _______________________. This is a signal for my family, friends,
and neighbors to help me, in case I need assistance without alarming my abuser.
If you live with your abuser:
If I have to leave my home, I can go to:
I can tell ___________________ about the violence and request that they call the
police if they hear suspicious noises coming from my house.
I am preparing a bag with following items and keeping it with ___________________________.
When I leave I should take: __________________________.
I can also leave copies of these items with ______________________, who can keep
them for me.
My bag contains following:
child custody papers
court order, such as peace bond
social security numbers
money, credit cards
personal telephone and address book
children’s favorite toys
clothing for a few days
safety deposit key
In an Emergency
If you are at home and you are being threatened or attacked, try to:
Stay away from the kitchen. (The abuser can find weapons there, like
Stay away from bathrooms, closets or small spaces where the abuser
can trap you.
Get to a room with a door or window to escape.
Get to a room with a phone to call for help; lock the abuser out
if you can.
Call 911 (or your local emergency number) right away for help;
get the dispatcher's name.
Think about a neighbor or friend you can run to for help.
If a police officer comes, tell him/her what happened; get his/her name &
Get medical help if you are hurt.
Take pictures of bruises or injuries.
Call a Domestic Violence Program or Shelter
You can search our Directory for services in your area, or call the national hotline at 1-800-799-7223