What if you live with them?

Living in a family in which there is violence takes a toll on the whole family. When you love both the victim and the abuser, your feelings can be complicated and difficult to sort out. The first step is to find someone you can trust to talk to about the situation. In general, we recommend that this be a professional who is obligated by their code of professional conduct to maintain your confidence. However, if children or elderly people are being abused – even a professional is obliged by law to report this to the authorities.

Remember that adults are responsible for their own actions, and that abuse is always the fault of the one who is violent.

Ensure your safety
Make sure that you and those in your home are safe. Call 911 if it’s emergency. In case of domestic violence, call National Domestic Violence Hotline: 800-799-SAFE (7233), 24 hours, toll free.

Know that Allah can make a way out for you.
Allah does not condone the abuse of another human being regardless of his or her religion, ethnicity, age or gender. Family members are supposed to take care of each other, not to hurt. If you decide to stand up for the rights of your family members or roommates, know that Allah will be with you. You need to stand up to protect yourself and to protect others from the abusers. But you have to be very careful and thoughtful about it.

Know your risks
In addition to the risks everyone who tries to help in a situation of family violence faces, there are additional risks for helpers who live within the family in which the violence is taking place. Trying to help may upset both the victim and the abuser, putting you at risk of being abused yourself.

Talk to the victim.
They need your support. See the tips we’ve compiled for talking with a friend who is a victim and apply them to your situation.

Talk to someone about the problem
Talk to someone trustworthy and reliable. Young children must tell the details of abuse to someone older who cares about them and who can help them out. Telling will help you relieve their suffering. Breaking the silence is the first step in helping them. Speak up. Part of the abuser’s power comes from secrecy of the abuse. Let people know what is happening so they can look out for the victim and others living with you.

Know that you are not alone.
There are people and organizations that are equipped to address this issue. Check out Resources, and seek professional help as soon as possible.

Record the Abuse
Keep records of abuse. This may help the victim later.

Seek help through prayer and fasting
Remember that only with the help of Allah will the situation change.



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