Anonymous Victim

Why abused (Muslim) women don't leave their abusive husbands, even though this is America? I'll tell you why...

  1. They don't know where to look for help.
  2. They don't want to hurt their parents/disappoint them/have them become the 'talk of the town'.
  3. They have children, and feel that they would rather go through hell than subject their children to the real trauma/social stigma of a break-up/divorce.
  4. They are scared of mental/physical/legal retaliation from their husbands. One million times I have heard of men refusing to grant their wives divorce JUST to torture them.
  5. They don't have any place to go to after they are divorced, and are not educated enough/worthy enough by their own standards to find a job that will keep them alive.
  6. They don't want to be pitied and stigmatized.
  7. They are 'used' property, and most men don't want a 'second-hand' wife.
  8. The situation is so bad in most Indo-Pak families that if a sister gets divorced, her other siblings' chances of getting married will go down drastically too, and even if they do get married/are already married, their in-laws will just find it an excuse to label them also as 'dysfunctional'.
  9. They have so lost their sense of self-worth that even though they may be smart and highly educated, they don't think they can make it without a 'husband' in this society. Ever heard the theory of 'learned helplessness'?

I have 9 excuses not to leave my emotionally abusive husband (ain’t physical as yet)... I'm sure somebody could give u a few more.

Webmaster Note: This profile is an edited version of a comment posted by an anonymous sister on the blog "Did we ever bother to know Muzzammil?"



“In the Beginning”

One of my earliest childhood memories is the one where I wake up from sleep on my step uncle’s lap to find his finger inside of me. I can’t remember how old I was, I was definitely young enough to still be... More>>



Project Sakinah
Dar al Islam
P.O. Box 180
Abiquiu, NM  87510