Breaking the Cycle

Parents are the most important people in a child’s world. Raising children is one of the most challenging of life’s activities – and can be frustrating and trigger anger in almost anyone. If you were abused as a child, it is even more difficult. But recognizing that you have a problem, turning to Allah and asking for help, and then setting out with determination to change your ways are a huge first step.

Here are some tips for changing how you react to your children:

  • Take care of yourself. If you aren’t getting enough sleep, or don’t have enough support, or are feeling overwhelmed – it is easy to become irritable and angry with your children. For parents of young children, sleep deprivation and being overwhelmed are very common indeed. Reach out for support for others so you can be fully present for your child.
  • Learn how to manage your emotions. The first step is to recognize that you are emotional, that you do have feelings, and that sometimes they are out of control. If you had to deny your emotions as a child, you may find that now they sometimes just spill out in an uncontrolled way. You can find a free, self-guided program for achieving greater emotional balance online here.
  • Educate yourself on the age appropriate behavior of your child. If you learn what it is reasonable to expect from children of a particular age, you can save yourself a lot of frustration by having realistic expectations. For example, newborns are not going to sleep through the night without a peep, and toddlers are not going to be able to sit quietly for extended periods of time. We have gathered some great resources for parents on our site. Check them out


“In the Beginning”

One of my earliest childhood memories is the one where I wake up from sleep on my step uncle’s lap to find his finger inside of me. I can’t remember how old I was, I was definitely young enough to still be... More>>



Project Sakinah
Dar al Islam
P.O. Box 180
Abiquiu, NM  87510