Breaking the Cycle
Parents are the most important people in a child’s world. Raising children
is one of the most challenging of life’s activities – and can be frustrating
and trigger anger in almost anyone. If you were abused as a child, it is even more
difficult. But recognizing that you have a problem, turning to Allah and asking
for help, and then setting out with determination to change your ways are a huge
first step.
Here are some tips for changing how you react to your children:
- Take care of yourself. If you aren’t getting enough sleep,
or don’t have enough support, or are feeling overwhelmed – it is easy to become
irritable and angry with your children. For parents of young children, sleep deprivation
and being overwhelmed are very common indeed. Reach out for support for others so
you can be fully present for your child.
- Learn how to manage your emotions. The first step is to recognize
that you are emotional, that you do have feelings, and that sometimes they are out
of control. If you had to deny your emotions as a child, you may find that now they
sometimes just spill out in an uncontrolled way. You can find a free, self-guided
program for achieving greater emotional balance online
here.
- Educate yourself on the age appropriate behavior of your child.
If you learn what it is reasonable to expect from children of a particular age,
you can save yourself a lot of frustration by having realistic expectations. For
example, newborns are not going to sleep through the night without a peep, and toddlers
are not going to be able to sit quietly for extended periods of time. We have gathered
some great resources for parents on our site. Check them out